Japanese lockdown is over and so this week Japannabel ventured further into unchartered territories–the world of dating. Today was my day-off so I went on not one, but two dates. The territories actually weren’t that unchartered as my first date of choice was regrettably Duncan*, 26, Southampton.

Disclaimer: this blog post gives no real coverage of Japan and gets a bit political. I won’t be offended if you tune out now.

So I met Duncan on CraigsList. He was selling a bike and I wanted one so I went over to Okubo last Sunday and to be fair I did cop a bargain from him. Anyway we decided to be “friends” and we made plans to go on a bike ride together the following Friday (today). The forecast said rain so we had lunch instead although it actually turned out to be a beautiful day–the last of the season–which I unfortunately wasted inside a basement soba restaurant with Duncan.

Initially things were fine. I thought he was quite sweet although he did talk a lot. Fast forward an hour, I have finished my (delicious) soba noodles and he has not touched his. This is one hundred percent down to the fact that he monologued his entire life whilst I was expected to listen and nod along without saying a word. I don’t think he meant to do this but it was really annoying. 

The conversation progressed as follows:

1. Duncan talks excessively about Sri Lanka, explaining the landscape of the country, the language they speak (which he pronounced incorrectly) and his work there. I start to chip in that I have a Sri Lankan friend and I have also been there. He briefly pauses almost in confusion as to why I am sharing this before continuing his monologue.

2. The next topic was agriculture. “The science of soil is fascinating,” he tells me. He talks about his experiences and he explains farming to me. I tell him that I live on a farm and almost the entirety of my family are farmers. “That’s interesting,” he says, “I’ll have to ask you about it later.” I’m not sure why he can’t ask me about it whilst we’re actually on the conversation topic, but on he goes.

3. Brexit time. This is where the cracks start to show. Duncan voted remain and is now very pro-leave. At this point, I’m getting a bit tired of listening to his boring soliloquy so I share some of my own thoughts. “I love how passionate you are,” he tells me patronisingly when I express my opinions very mildly. I ask for the bill.

4. The bill arrives as Duncan begins to talk about the benefits of colonialism. My head is in my hands. He tells me the removal of Edward Colston’s statue is turning a blind eye to our history. I remind him that he was a glorified slave trader to which he informs me that the statue is celebrating his contributions to the world of philanthropy, not the slave trade. I am visibly distressed and Duncan begins another spiel, which he starts with the sentence: “I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.”

5. I tell him I studied the Tudors three times at school and visited Chedworth Roman Villa on four separate occasions but not once did I learn about the British Empire, institutional racism or anything that I feel would give me any kind of well-rounded view of the real world. He says he doesn’t have a problem with our curriculum being one-sided and white. “We are a white country after all,” he insists. I pay my half of the bill and make my way towards the door.

6. He follows me out onto the street. “Sorry, have I upset you?” He asks. I tell him that I feel our political views are far too different and I don’t want to continue a friendship with him. He’s confused. He thinks we get on really well and he enjoyed the debate. “I’ve had a great time,” he tells me. “I don’t understand why we can’t see each other again.” I remind him that he’s had a good time because he spoke about himself for an hour and a half. He tells me that he wanted to find out all about my life, just later.

7. He is close to tears as he tells me that I can’t live the rest of my life shutting out people because they have different opinions to me. I’m never going to grow as a person if I surround myself with people who act as clones to my political beliefs. I assure him that I have enough Brexiteers in my life as it is. We go our separate ways.

I might not date anymore English boys for the rest of my time here.

Anyway I had a few hours in between dates so feeling mentally drained I went home, showered and got ready for date number two. This time it was with Kensuke*, 22, Okinawa.

And we had a very lovely evening. We ate sushi in Nakano, which is just one train stop from my house, and then seeing as he doesn’t drink we went for a Coca-Cola afterwards. He asked me what I’d done that day and I gave him a brief synopsis of my lunch from hell though I’m not sure he actually understood what I said. The sushi was delicious and I practiced some of my Japanese with him, which he said was very good although I think he might have been lying.

We bumped into my housemate in the park afterwards. She doesn’t really speak English so Kensuke translated for us and it was actually one of the longest conversations we’ve ever had despite having lived together for five months. Kensuke is a student but he works at a company that does Mario Kart tours. Basically the company provides a load of tourists with Mario Kart costumes and they all get in Mario Kart lookalike go-karts and drive around the streets of Tokyo with Kensuke as their tour guide. He says he can get me ‘mates rates’ so this might be date two.

Anyway I’m exhausted. Thanks for reading and good night.